Eight weeks for your team to remember why it exists.
The Boring Room works when the problem fits in two days. When it doesn't, you need a cadence. Eight 90-minute sessions, async-first in between, open Slack, 30-day follow-up. Your team finishes with a Charter, a KPI Tree, a NO-list, and a 90-day plan. If session five doesn't show value, I refund 100%.
Two flavors. Diagnosis picks which.
The Boring Room (if we ran one) or the discovery call decides which flavor fits. I don't run them in parallel. Not an upsell.
DevOps Adoption Journey
When process and silos block progress.
Product and engineering talk via Slack and hate each other. Deploys are a ritual drama. QA-dev-ops handoffs break every release.
You leave with: team Charter, end-to-end flow map, NO-list of processes to drop, 90-day adoption plan.
Technical Business Enablement
When code is disconnected from money.
Devs don't know how expensive what they're building actually is. The board asks why infra is 22% of burn and no one can answer.
You leave with: KPI Tree (technical metrics tied to business metrics), per-feature cost model, board memo template, 90-day plan.
Cadence, not marathon.
Week 1–2
Setup
Charter draft. Initial map. The questions we'll answer over the next six weeks.
Week 3–6
Sessions
One per week, 90 minutes on video. Async in Slack in between. I'm not "always on" — I'm on where it matters.
Week 5
Guarantee checkpoint
If you don't see clear value here, you call stop and I refund 100%. No penalty, no "rescue plan". It's honest.
Week 7–8 + 30d
Plan + follow-up
90-day plan signed by the team. 30-day follow-up to review what happened, what broke, what to adjust.
Four artifacts. All editable. All the team's.
- Charter — one page. Why the team exists, what it builds, what it does NOT build.
- KPI Tree — a visual tree connecting technical metrics (deploy frequency, MTTR, cost per user) to business metrics (MRR, churn, runway).
- NO-list — the formal list of things the company explicitly decides NOT to do this quarter. Most painful to write. Most useful when distractions arrive.
- 90-day plan — what gets done, in what order, with what success metrics.
Session 5. If you don't see value, I refund 100%.
Not "we adjust the scope". Not "we extend the engagement". A full refund. Transferred, no paperwork, no drama. The only way I can put my confidence on the table before you put yours.
Series C+. Teams under five devs. Anyone seeking certification.
- If your company already has internal FP&A and a formal architecture committee — you don't need an external facilitator, you need to coordinate the people you already have.
- If your engineering team is fewer than five — the problem is rarely systems, it's hiring or firing. This doesn't solve that.
- If you want Scrum, SAFe or ICAgile certification — I don't certify, not the offer.
- If you want an open-ended monthly retainer — this ends in 8 weeks. I leave.
The 30-minute call decides whether this fits.
Discovery without slides. If there's fit, we discuss which flavor makes sense. If not, I'll tell you and save you three months.
Or email [email protected].
Pricing discussed in discovery. The number depends on team size and program variant. Session-5 guarantee included in every engagement.